Divorce Mediation

Online Divorce Mediation in New York: How Mediating by Video Works

By Pieter G. Weinrieb, Esq. · Admitted NY 2005 · 42-hour certified family and divorce mediator · Published October 4, 2026

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The short answer

Every working part of a divorce mediation can be done by secure video. Each spouse joins separately, documents are shared before each session, and sessions usually run 60 to 90 minutes. The only step that needs a physical signature is the final agreement, which New York requires to be signed and formally acknowledged, usually before a notary public; that is coordinated for you. The mediator is the same, the order of topics is the same, and you end with the same written agreement as an in-office mediation.

Who Can Mediate Online

Weinrieb Law mediates for couples across Erie and Niagara Counties and, where the divorce is being filed in New York, for spouses who no longer live in the same city, or the same state. The test is not where each of you lives today; it is whether a New York court can hear the divorce. That turns on residency under DRL §230, and our free divorce residency checker applies all five routes in about a minute.

Your mediator is Pieter G. Weinrieb, Esq., a 42-hour certified family and divorce mediator admitted in New York in 2005. As your mediator he is a neutral: he does not represent either spouse, and each of you should have your own attorney review the agreement before you sign.

How an Online Session Runs

Secure video, each spouse joining separately. You do not have to be in the same room, or the same house, to mediate.
Documents exchanged in advance. Pay stubs, tax returns, account statements and appraisals are shared before the session, so the time is spent deciding rather than hunting for paperwork. The financial document checklist covers what to gather.
Shorter, more frequent sessions. With no travel, most couples find that 60 to 90 minutes over a lunch hour or after the children are in bed works better than a half-day block.
The same order of topics. The first session sets the ground rules and the list of issues; later sessions take parenting, support, the house, retirement accounts and debts one at a time, the same way they are handled in the office.

Signing the Agreement and Filing the Divorce

New York requires a divorce settlement agreement to be in writing, signed by both spouses and acknowledged the way a deed would be (DRL §236(B)(3)), so each spouse signs before a notary public (or another officer authorized to take acknowledgments), who completes the acknowledgment. That step is coordinated for you; some couples come to the Williamsville office once to sign, and others never come in at all.

Once the agreement is signed, the uncontested divorce is filed. If you live in Erie County it goes to Erie County Supreme Court at 25 Delaware Avenue in Buffalo; if you live in Niagara County it goes to Niagara County Supreme Court at 175 Hawley Street in Lockport. In most cases the judgment is granted without either spouse appearing before a judge, and an uncontested divorce in Erie County typically takes 3 to 6 months from filing to a signed judgment (see is there a waiting period for divorce in New York?).

When Online Mediation Makes the Most Sense

One spouse has already moved, to another part of New York, or out of state
Opposite work schedules, shift work, or travel that makes a shared daytime appointment impractical
Young children at home and no easy childcare for a two-hour appointment
A long drive to Williamsville from the Southtowns, Niagara County, or beyond
Spouses who negotiate better without sitting across a table from each other

When to Come In Instead

Video is not always the better choice. If the conversation is tense, if one spouse is uneasy about whether the other is being fully forthcoming, or if there are documents that need to be walked through page by page, an in-person session usually covers more ground in less time. Many couples do both: most sessions online, one or two at the Williamsville office where it matters. Some situations are not right for mediation in any format, including a history of abuse or a spouse who is hiding assets; see when divorce mediation will not work.

What It Costs

The planning range for a mediated divorce in Western New York is about $3,000 to $7,500 in professional fees, plus about $335 in New York court fees. That is a planning estimate, not a quote: the number of sessions drives the total, which is why couples who come organized spend the least. How much divorce mediation costs breaks it down, and how to prepare for your first mediation session explains how to keep it down.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is online divorce mediation legally valid in New York?

Yes. Mediation is a voluntary negotiation, and nothing in New York law requires it to happen in a room. What makes the result binding is the written agreement: it must be in writing, subscribed by both spouses and acknowledged the way a deed is (DRL §236(B)(3)), and it is then incorporated into the Judgment of Divorce. The format of the sessions does not change any of that.

Can we mediate online if my spouse lives in another state?

Yes, if the divorce itself can be filed in New York. That depends on residency under DRL §230, most often two continuous years in New York for one spouse, or one year plus a New York connection such as marrying here or living here as a couple. If New York has jurisdiction, the spouse who moved can join every session by video.

Do we have to be in the same room or on the same call together?

No. Each spouse joins separately, from their own device and their own space. You do not have to be in the same room, or the same house, to mediate.

How long is an online mediation session?

Most couples find that 60 to 90 minutes works better online than a half-day block. With no travel, sessions fit over a lunch hour or after the children are in bed, which tends to keep the process moving.

When is mediating in person the better choice?

When the conversation is tense, when one spouse is uneasy about whether the other is being fully forthcoming, or when documents need to be walked through page by page. Many couples do most sessions online and one or two at the Williamsville office. If there is a history of abuse or one spouse is afraid of the other, mediation may not be appropriate in any format.

Start With a Free Consultation

Tell us where each of you lives and what you need to settle, and we will tell you whether online mediation fits. The consultation is free, by video or at our Williamsville office.