Which Divorce Path Is Right for You?
Answer five quick questions and we’ll point you toward the process — uncontested, mediation, collaborative, or litigation — that best fits your situation in New York. Takes about two minutes.
This quiz is an educational tool, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is different — the best way to know your options is a conversation with an attorney. Weinrieb Law · (716) 759-4529.
The four ways to divorce in New York
Almost every New York divorce runs down one of four tracks. They differ enormously in cost, in speed, and in how much control you keep — and most people choose one by accident rather than on purpose. The quiz above points you toward a fit. What follows is the reasoning behind it.
| Path | Typical cost | Typical timeline | It fits when… |
|---|---|---|---|
| Uncontested | Lowest | Roughly 3–6 months | You agree on everything — property, support, and the children — and just need the paperwork done correctly. |
| Mediation | Low to moderate | Roughly 3–9 months | You disagree, but you can still sit in a room together. A neutral mediator helps you build the agreement yourselves. |
| Collaborative | Moderate | Roughly 6–12 months | You each want your own attorney in the room, but both of you want to stay out of court. Everyone signs an agreement not to litigate. |
| Contested | Highest | Roughly 1–3 years | Communication has broken down, assets are being hidden, there is a safety concern, or the gap between you is simply too wide to bridge. |
Cost is mostly a function of conflict, not complexity
People assume a divorce is expensive because the finances are complicated. Usually it is expensive because the parties are fighting. Two spouses with a house, two retirement accounts, and children can finish for a few thousand dollars if they agree — and can spend six figures if they do not. The largest single variable you control is not the size of your estate. It is whether you litigate.
That said, choosing a cooperative path because it is cheaper, when the other side is hiding assets or refusing to disclose, is a false economy. Mediation depends on honest disclosure. When that is absent, litigation is not the expensive option — it is the only one that works.
When none of these is the right first step
If there has been abuse, or if you are afraid of your spouse, the question is not which divorce path to choose. It is safety first. New York Family Court can issue a temporary order of protection on the day you file, and it has concurrent jurisdiction with Supreme Court, so it can act even while a divorce is pending. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The New York State Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-942-6906.
You are not locked in
The path you start on is not the path you must finish on. Mediations break down and become contested cases. Bitterly contested cases settle on the courthouse steps — the large majority of New York divorces settle before trial. Choosing a cooperative process first costs you very little if it fails, and saves a great deal if it works.
Compare in detail: all four options side by side · estimate the cost · Buffalo divorce attorney
Frequently Asked Questions About Choosing a Divorce Path
What is the cheapest way to get divorced in New York?
An uncontested divorce, where both spouses agree on every issue — property, support, and any parenting arrangement — and only need the paperwork prepared and filed. Court fees for the index number, Request for Judicial Intervention, and Note of Issue apply regardless of path. The largest cost driver in any divorce is not the complexity of the assets; it is the level of conflict.
What is the difference between mediation and collaborative divorce?
In mediation, a single neutral mediator helps both spouses build an agreement themselves; the spouses may each consult their own review attorney, but the attorneys are typically not in the room. In collaborative divorce, each spouse has their own attorney present throughout, and everyone — including the attorneys — signs an agreement that they will not go to court. If the collaborative process fails, both attorneys must withdraw, which gives everyone a strong incentive to settle.
How long does a divorce take in New York?
An uncontested divorce typically takes about three to six months, depending on how quickly the county processes the paperwork. Mediation usually runs three to nine months. A collaborative divorce commonly takes six to twelve months. A contested divorce that goes through discovery and toward trial usually takes one to three years.
Can I switch from mediation to a contested divorce?
Yes. Nothing locks you into the path you start on. Mediations break down and become contested cases, and contested cases settle — in fact the large majority of New York divorces settle before trial. Starting with a cooperative process costs relatively little if it does not work, and saves a great deal if it does.
Should I mediate if my spouse is hiding assets?
Generally no. Mediation depends on honest, voluntary financial disclosure. Where a spouse is concealing income or assets, there is no mechanism in mediation to compel the truth. Litigation provides subpoenas, sworn depositions, and court-ordered disclosure, and in that situation it is not the expensive option — it is the only one that works.